I always thought I could manage it and have it all. And I did. For some time. Then, on my daughter's 11th birthday, I couldnt be there. It killed me. Then, her studies started to decline. She's a bright kid, but misses a lot of school due to her asthma. She makes up for it if I'm around (or my husband -- when I was travelling, he taught her, and the marks demonstrate it). But when we cant, and ask her if she'll cope, she always says yes. But she cant. Poor girl. Dont blame her.

For 11 years, I haven't ever felt guilty about leaving my kid to the maids. Today, when the quality of her education suffers, I do. And we are those kinds of parents who are fine with average marks -- average marks that really mean average -- 60%, no more. But yet, the joy and pride AND ego of a parent whose kid gets 85-90%, which our daughter gets when we hand hold her -- is a lot to give away for letting her just cope on her own and get a 60% (except in subjects where she is a natural).

It's a tough call. Many friends (read mothers) have quit working in these crucial years. Is that the right way to go, when you have taught your child to be responsible and independent? When I look back, my marks have never counted -- I'm doing very different stuff from what I studied for anyway. So is my husband.

So I wonder -- how much of this dilemma worth it in the long run?

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Getting balance is easy...

The simplest way to get balance in your life is to ask yourself the following:

1. If my life could focus on one thing and one thing only, what would that be?

2. If I could add a second thing, what would that be?

3. A third?

4. A fourth?

5. A fifth?

If you answer thoughtfully and honestly, the result will be a list of your top five priorities. As per research, a typical top-five list might include some of the following (and it may not be identical to yours, which is absolutely fine too):

1. Children
2. Spouse
3. Satisfying career
4. Community service
5. Religion/spirituality
6. Health
7. Sports
8. Art
9. Hobbies, such as gardening
10. Adventure/travel

So where do you start? Here! Follow these simple tips, and you'll be surprised!

Drop The Unnecessary

By making a concrete list of what really matters to you, you may discover you're devoting too much time to activities that aren't a priority, and you can adjust your schedule accordingly. If at all possible, drop any commitments and pursuits that don't make your top-five list, because unnecessary activities keep you away from the things that really matter to you.

Protect Your Private Time

You would probably think twice before skipping out on work, a parent-teacher conference, or a doctor's appointment. Your private time deserves the same respect. “Carve out hours that contribute to yourself and your relationship," says Stevan Hobfoll, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at Kent State University, and co-author of Work Won't Love You Back: The Dual Career Couple's Survival Guide. Guard this personal time fervently and don't let work or other distractions intrude. "Stop checking email and cell phones so often," Hobfoll advises. "Few people are so important that they need their phones on at all times."
If work consistently interferes with your personal time, Hobfoll recommends discussing some adjustments with your boss. "There's a mythology in the workplace that more hours means more," he says. Demonstrate that you can deliver the same or better results in fewer hours. Your job performance should never be judged in terms of hours of input. Protecting your private time often leads to greater satisfaction in both work life and personal life, greater productivity, and more creativity.
If you're your own boss, it's up to you to create boundaries that keep work from intruding on family time. Make it very clear at the beginning of any new business relationship that weekends are out of question. If you communicate to clients more than once that if they call you at night or on the weekend that they shouldn't expect you to a) answer the phone and b) reply until the next business day, clients respect it. That time away from your one-year-old’s gurgling laughter, for example, will not come back. Your client will not lose out, you will.

Take Help to Balance Your Life

Allow yourself to rely on your partner, family members, or friends -- anyone who can watch the kids or run an errand while you focus on other top priorities. For example, try tag-teaming. One spouse works before dinner, one after dinner, while the other watches the kids.
To get more alone-time with your partner, accept babysitting offers from friends and family, or try arranging a regular trade-off with another couple who have kids of similar age groups. That way, both couples take turns to get quality time with their spouses. And kids are happy being with each other since it doesn’t matter whose house they are in.

Plan Fun and Relaxation

Fun and relaxation are an essential part of living a well-balanced life. A few examples? Weekly guitar lessons, a yoga class, a date night with your husband/wife (yes, you can arrange that, and it brings the romance back too), or a girls’/guys' night out a couple times a month. f you believe that the most important thing is to be happy in life (and don’t set targets of being happy not when you’re a millionaire or when you retire but right now) then you can always make time.
Until you get into the habit of taking time for yourself, set aside space in your planner for relaxation and fun. Plan what you're going to do and make any necessary arrangements, such as childcare, to ensure you'll be able to keep your commitment. Remember, you make time for what you want to make time for. If something is important to you, don't brush it aside with a dismissive "I don't have time for that." You are in charge of your own schedule -- it's up to you to make time. Ultimately if you don’t, your spouse or your kids will see through you and know that you really don’t want to be with them.

Say No to say Yes to work life balance!

Saying no can get you free time. Free time is time to use for all the new things you wanted to try out... Just because you've always helped plan the company waste-of-time seminar doesn't mean that you have to keep doing it forever. So say no.
Find yourself. Saying no helps you prioritize the things that are important to you. You'll gain time that you can commit to the things that you really want to do, such as leaving work at a reasonable hour to make time for a mind-clearing run at the end of the day (instead of I Never get the time to get rid of my lard!!). Examine your current obligations and overall priorities before making any new commitments. Ask yourself if the new commitment is really important to you. If it's something that you feel strongly about, by all means do it. And if you can't, may just need a crash course in prioritizing...
Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Is the new activity that you're considering a short- or long-term commitment? Taking an afternoon to help raise funds for your company's favorite charity will take far less of your precious time (and get you more visibility) than becoming the CSR head. If an activity is going to end up being another source of stress in your life — especially for the long term — say No.
Let go of guilt. If colleagues or friends want to get together for an impromptu evening out on the town when you've already scheduled a quiet evening at home with your spouse or child, say No. It will only lead to additional stress in your life.
Sleep on it. Tempted by a friend's invitation to volunteer at your old alma mater or join a weekly golf league? Take a day to think over the request and respond after you've been able to assess your current commitments as well as the new opportunity.
Saying no can be good for you. Saying no is not a selfish act. In fact, it may be the most beneficial thing that you can do for your family and your other commitments. When you say no, you'll be able to spend quality time on the things you've already said yes to.
How to say no -- No. Nope. Nah. Naheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!! Simple, isn't it? Of course, there are always instances when it's just not that easy. Here are some things to keep in mind when you need to say no:
Don't lie. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
Do it gently. Many good causes land at your door, and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the person or the group's effort while saying that you're unable to commit at this time helps to soften the blow and keep you in good graces.
Saying no won't be easy if you're used to saying yes all the time. But learning to say no is an important part of simplifying your way to a better, less stressful life.